Poverty spawns intergenerational sexual relations in Zimbabwe
By Julia Ndlela
Faith Chidzungairo (22) says as a girl, she suffered low self-esteem. She could not afford most of the luxuries that her peers had. Her parents struggled to provide basic needs for the family. When she got to university she desired the luxuries that her parents could not afford. Faith saw how some girls were flaunting luxuries with support from some elderly ‘boyfriends’ in exchange for sex.
“When I started university, I felt like an outcast. I only had three descent dresses and one pair of shoes. All around me I could see girls who seemed to have an endless supply of money. Some girls were going to the hair saloon almost every week, going out for lunch at expensive restaurants and had fancy clothes. Most of the girls had people coming to visit them in expensive cars,” says Faith.
Faith grew up in the sprawling suburb of Kingsdale in Bulawayo Metropolitan province in Zimbabwe. She is a second year Sociology student at a university in the Midlands province, located about 205 kilometres from her home. Although her parents are providing her some basic needs, Faith says life at the university is financially demanding. This is forcing young women to engage in sex work.
The term “Blesser” is now common in Zimbabwe especially at institutions of higher learning where girls will be starting a new life away from their families. According to a local publication, The Patriot, the Blesser-blessee relationship is a form of transactional sex in which older men (Blesser) tend to entice young women (blessee) with money and expensive gifts in exchange for sex. In most cases, these intergenerational sexual relationships involve older men who are married and secretly engaging in multiple unprotected sexual affairs with young women.
The publication says Blessers give ‘refuge’ for the young women through meeting their basic needs. In the process, young women’s lives are at high risk of contracting Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) and other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). In these relationships, young women cannot negotiate safe sex because older men dominate and control the young women.
After a few months at university Faith heard her peers talking about ‘Blessers’. No one admitted to be engaging in sex work but Faith says it appeared as if they were involved.
One day Faith was waiting by the road side looking for transport to get into town. A private car stopped and the driver, a middle aged man offered her a lift. When she got into town Faith offered to pay for the ride but the driver declined payment. He asked politely for her phone number.
Soon afterwards, Faith says she started receiving incessant calls from the driver. She got to know him as Kudzai. Kudzai operated a local transport business. He gave Faith his workplace address and soon the two were meeting frequently.
Faith says it felt good to have Kudzai come to the university campus to pick her with a nice car and to go for drives and getting pampered. Soon the two were indulging in sex. However, Faith contracted an STI. She says Kudzai always demanded unprotected sex and he seemed unconcerned about the consequences.
“When I told Kudzai that I had some vaginal fluids and that I suspected I had an STI. Kudzai calmly told me that he would pay for the treatment. He gave me a lot of money and directed me to a private clinic for treatment. He also told me that he had gone for treatment and that our relationship should continue as if nothing had happened. I could not dare to ask where he had contracted the disease and what we should do to avoid repetition of that,” says Faith.
Faith says she feels guilty about what she is doing and promises to stop once she finishes college. She says her relationship with Kudzai is now part and parcel of her life at college.
Intergenerational sexual relationships are not only confined to institutions of higher learning. In Bulawayo, Zimbabwe’s second largest city, poverty drives desperate girls and young women to seek support from elderly men to fund their own survival. Pamela Nkomo (23) says she has a 57-year-old partner who caters for her needs in exchange for financial support.
Pamela lives in Gwabalanda, a suburb lying south-west of Bulawayo metropolitan province. Pamela’s sex partner takes care of her huge financial needs that include supporting her three siblings.
“My father died when I was 14 years old. He was the breadwinner. His passing seriously affected my mother and she developed a terminal illness soon afterwards. Everything got rough for me and my three siblings. My father did not have policies to support the family in the event of his passing. I soon found myself with the responsibility of taking care of my mother and siblings,” says Pamela.
Pamela says an intergenerational sexual relationship is not an easy way out of poverty. She says her partner abuses her physically and emotionally and that he is very controlling and does not want to see her with people of her age, especially boys.
Despite the threats of physical and emotional abuse and the high risk of contracting STIs, young people in Zimbabwe are engaging in intergenerational sexual relationships in high numbers, driven by the worsening economic situation and the growing culture of consumerism.
This article was written as part of the Creative Centre for Communication and Development (CCCD) project that seeks to strengthen the voices of women and girls, especially under the grim impact of the Coronavirus (COVID 19). CCCD has used the WhatsApp mobile application to train women and girls so that they express their voices on what is happening in their communities.
