Getting married, at whatever cost!
By Lorraine Mathe
As a young woman, I have observed that there is increasing pressure on young women in Zimbabwe to get into marriage. This has been heightened by the media, which sensationally reports that women are outnumbering men and more women will be single if women do not accept sharing.
Some young women are now so much under pressure that they are now turning to traditional and religious spiritualists to get portions that may help them to get married to a man of their choice.
These love portions are given to the men orally in their food or drink while in some cases women have to ingest to portions. The more common love potions used are “umsila womdlwane” (a puppy’s tail) which is cooked inside the meal of the targeted male and upon eating the male is overcome with deep love for the one who prepared the meal.
There is another equally gross method of getting married to a man of your dreams at any cost. This involves the use of menstrual blood, which is added by the women into the food of the targeted man. Once the man has eaten the portion, he will be under a strong spell and will never love any other woman.
Unlike in the olden days when men were faithful and trustworthy, most women now use charms to make sure that they keep their partners from straying into other relationships. But is this really the only way to do it? Gogo Mlotshwa (58) from Cowdry Park, a high density suburb in western Bulawayo says using charms to get a husband may have unexpected consequences.
“Love portions are real and they indeed work. However, at times there are negative consequences. For example, a man who has eaten a love portion may turn into a ‘zombie’ whereby he will not want to be separated from his wife. He may even stop going to work or to have any other friends. What is worse is that such consequences cannot be reversed,” says Gogo Mlotshwa.
Are individuals truly incapable of true love and loyalty? Many girls says it is difficult to maintain a relationship since many men are unfaithful.
The responses were all the same ‘indoda ngeyakho ma ulayo’, if you get the chance ‘mdlise’ meaning a man only belongs to you when you are together at the time after he leaves he belongs to whomever he is with and if you get the chance, dose him with a love portion.
This culture of unorthodox ways of getting a man do not end at people who are in relations but with women trying to win back their past lovers. Some women try and resort to religious methods by getting a prayer stone from the leaders of some Apostolic churches. Instructions will be given and individual after carrying out given instructions can get whatever man she wants. Though this may seem unorthodox many women in Bulawayo are always patronising the Apostolic shrines to get love portions.
I feel that all this pressure is a result of patriarchy where women are made to feel inadequate if they are not married. There are no men that go to shrines to get love portions. It is high time that young women should learn to stand on their own and stop depending on men for their survival.
